Now what do I do?
Navigating the immediate aftermath of losing a spouse can feel profoundly overwhelming. You're likely in a fog, and it's okay to not have all the answers right now. This page is designed to offer essential first steps to help you gain a sense of direction and control during this incredibly difficult time. Remember, you don't have to face this alone, and the funeral home can assist with many of the initial legal notifications.
*These are recommendations only and is not an exhaustive list. This is a list compiled with input from several local women. WidowWorks does not take responsibility for the individual decisions and actions by any company or individual, nor does WidowWorks claim to offer legal or financial advice.
- Contact the funeral home of your choice
If you haven't already made arrangements with funeral home, you will need to contact one in your area. They will guide you through all of the necessary decisions such as selecting clothing, a casket or urn, a headstone if you choose to go through the funeral home, or they can direct you to other resources. They will also assist you in planning for the service you have in mind, if you are planning a service. They can help with everything from printing programs, setting up tables and any AV equipment you wish.
Funeral homes offer cremation and burial. Cremation is the less expensive option if that is of importance.
Here are some local funeral homes if you want to compare:
- Obtain certified death certificates
You will need multiple certified copies of the death certificate for various legal and financial processes. Your chosen funeral home will most likely get these ordered for you. They recommend 10-12 copies but in this modern age, you can usually scan a copy where it needs to go and keep the original. You will need to keep copies at the ready for years to come. Keep them in the safe as suggested in the Prepare For Your Future information.
- Initiate Life Insurance Claim
Locate any life insurance policies (perhaps they are noted in your cute new notebook!) and contact the providers as soon as possible to begin the claim process. Be prepared with policy numbers and death certificates. This is a critical step for your financial stability.
It's likely there is a life insurance through his place of employment (start there), or there may be private life insurance that you are aware of and you will need to notify them as well.
Life insurance is paid in a lump sum, so be prepared to manage it carefully as mentioned in the Prepare For Your Future section. A financial advisor would be helpful.
- Notify your spouse's employer
Inform the employer about the death to inquire about final paychecks, benefits, pension plans, and COBRA options for health insurance continuation. This ensures you don't miss out on important entitlements. You will most likely talk to someone from Human Resources who can help you with the life insurance claim.
- Continuation of Benefits
You must report the passing to the insurance within 30 days. Usually the employer will do that. Your medical and dental benefits will traditionally be valid until the end of that calendar month, after which they will expire. Most companies offer COBRA to you which means you can stay on the insurance, but you will be responsible for the entire premium as the employer will no longer pay their portion. This can be costly. You may be better off shopping the insurance marketplace. Under Vendors and Services there is a contact who is one of our vetted vendors who will help you in a free consultation.
- Make an appointment with Social Security
Dealing with Social Security can sound intimidating but it's not as complicated as it seems and the Social Security reps are there to help you. The funeral home will report the passing to social security as mentioned in the Prepare For Your Future information. A surviving spouse is given a lump sum of $250 which will be mailed to you or direct deposited.
Since social security is individualized based on your family situation (survivor benefits up to age 18, for example), and income, so it's best to make an appointment with them directly. The can discuss short and long term potential payments if qualified. Keep your cute new notebook handy as suggested in the Prepare section to keep notes on what you are advised. Here is information from Social Security: social security instructions.pdf